


bring colour to my skies

by isaacsmccall (orphan_account)



Category: Video Blogging & YouTube RPF
Genre: 5 Times, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-19
Updated: 2014-07-19
Packaged: 2018-02-09 11:32:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1981332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/isaacsmccall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Troye comes close to telling someone he likes Connor and one time he doesn’t have to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	bring colour to my skies

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to [netta](http://happylittleconnor.tumblr.com) for giving me some ideas.
> 
> i don't know what this fic is, but the idea just came to me and i just wanted to write it. also, the title has no relevance but i wanted to use it because i'm excited for trxye.
> 
> if you have any tronnor prompts, feel free to send them to me on tumblr or comment on here and i'll try my best to write them for you :)
> 
> disclaimer: i do not know either of the boys. this is a work of fiction. bla bla bla, the usual. don't send this to the boys or anyone associated with them. this fic has only been proof-read by myself, so sorry if there are any mistakes. there probably are.
> 
> my links: [tumblr](http://connorsivans.tumblr.com), [twitter](http://twitter.com/teenclones).

1.

Troye doesn’t even think about the consequences all that much when he says, “I like someone in the YouTube community,” knows that everyone will assume he’s talking about Tyler. He figures, if anybody tries to force it out of him, he can use Tyler as an excuse, anyway. It’s not as though it’s hard to believe. Still, he doesn’t know what came over him to make him say that.

Ricky doesn’t ask him who, though. He’s surprised about it but, when he thinks about it, Troye probably wouldn’t ask Ricky if it were the other way around. It would make things awkward because they’re not exactly close, so. He’s glad Ricky didn’t ask him. It was a blessing, really.

\--

When the video goes up, the comments are full of, “Who does Troye like???” with various guesses, most of them being Tyler. He’s only seen a few correct comments, which he’s happy about. He doesn’t particularly want him to watch this video and know.

If Troye ever does tell him, he wants it to be on his own terms.

 

2.

Why Troye only ever comes close to admitting he likes Connor on YouTube he will never understand. It’s always going to be there for people to look at – solid proof that will never disappear.

He’s been quiet for most of the collab, leaving people with bigger personalities to do most of the talking. He probably looks like he’s bored out of his fucking mind, which he kind of is, but. He’s enjoying himself, too.

He doesn’t know whether everyone is shocked because he finally said something or because he said he’d marry Connor, although he guesses it’s the latter. But Connor is hot, so can they really blame him? It’s not as though they’re going to deduce anything just from that one little comment. It’s meaningless, really.

Nonetheless, it’s kind of awkward for the rest of the video and everybody seemed tense after he says it, like they didn’t expect it. It makes him shut up, not wanting to bring any more attention to himself.

\--

When they’re done filming and they’re all spread out across the apartment, each in different groups gossiping about one thing or another (he hopes that it’s not about him and Connor, although he thinks he heard ‘Troye’ and ‘Connor’ in the same sentence a few times, but maybe he’s being paranoid), Ricky comes over, raising his eyebrow.

“So,” Ricky says. He looks like he’s prompting Troye to say something, but he doesn’t budge. He’s not going to give in.

“Come on, Troye. I’m not stupid. You said you like a YouTuber, now you say that you like Connor? I’m not hating, I think it’s great.”

Troye would think he was mocking him, but his tone is so genuine and Troye realises that he actually really likes Ricky. He’s a good guy. He’s glad Connor has got him as a friend.

“I was joking about liking a YouTuber. I was playing Troyler up, you know that.” It’s a lie, and Ricky probably knows it, but he just raises both eyebrows and says nothing else, dropping the subject.

 

3.

Surprisingly, he’s not on YouTube when he nearly admits to Connor that he does, in fact, like him.

Connor’s doing some o2l stuff and Troye is in the studio, supposed to be working, but instead he’s texting Connor.

 

To: Connor  
From: Troye  
I’m soooo bored everyone is being boring and working help

 

To: Troye  
From: Connor  
Let’s play truth or dare

 

To: Connor  
From: Troye  
We’re not 12 Con Con

 

To: Troye  
From: Connor  
Shut up you know you love it troye boy

 

To: Troye  
From: Connor  
You go first: truth or dare

 

Troye picks dare, obviously. He’s not ready to reveal any secrets yet. He ends up having to go to the fridge to get ketchup to squirt over the producers head (the rules are that they have to take a picture to prove that they actually done it). It’s not too bad, considering he’s bald, but he’s not very happy.

Troye manages to squeak out, “It was a dare!” and take a picture, before he starts shouting at him. He hates Connor.

They go back and forth, sometimes picking dare, sometimes picking truth (yes, even Troye. He eventually decides to stop being a baby). Connor ends up having to get his razor to shave some of Jc’s arm hair, which Troye is very proud of.

He isn’t ready for Connor’s question when he sends it, though, even though he knew it was coming.

 

To: Troye  
From: Connor  
Who do you like?

 

Troye types ‘you’ before deleting it (and if he does it about 10 times, no one has to know), but he knows he can’t send it. It would just ruin their friendship because Connor would feel awkward around him. Why does Troye always have to like straight guys? It would be so much easier if he liked guys who liked guys and also preferably guys who liked him.

Eventually, he decides to cop out.

 

To: Connor  
From: Troye  
Sorry ive got to go record speak to you later bye

 

4.

The fourth time he almost tells someone, he feels like curling up in a ball and crying.

He usually hates going to family gatherings because there’s always those people that ask him if he’s got a boyfriend yet – or a girlfriend, if they don’t know, which is even more awkward – or if he likes anyone, and it’s embarrassing. And annoying.

But it’s worse this time because they actually saw his video with Ricky and it seemed to spread around pretty quickly that he admitted he liked a YouTuber and everyone started taking guesses. Admittedly, they don’t know that many YouTubers, so it mainly consisted of Tyler and Connor and a few others they might have come across that aren’t too old.

He thinks they might start making bets soon.

A few of them have tried to coax it out of him (probably wanting to win the bet, Troye thinks), and he says that he’s not telling them each time. Until his mother comes up to him, a concerned look on her face, and Troye just hates his life right now.

“Troye, honey. Everybody’s saying that you like someone. I really hope it’s someone who won’t break your heart. If they do, they’ll have me to deal with. Do they know? Of course they don’t. If they did, there’s no way they’d still be a crush. They’d be your boyfriend.” She pauses, finally. “You can tell me, you know,” she adds, tentatively.

Troye wants to hug her but also punch her. Why did his mother have to be so nice and understanding and, well. Motherly. It really isn’t helping him keep this a secret.

“Mom, I haven’t told him and I’m not going to. And I love you, but I’m not going to tell you, either.”

It pains him to say it because his heart is screaming ‘tell her’ but his mind is screaming ‘don’t tell her’.

 

5.

Troye fucked up. He knows it and everyone else knows it. They probably know that he likes Connor, too, now.

They’re filming YouTube Whispers for Joe’s channel and they're almost finished and he’s reading Louise’s lips – he’s the last in this round – and he can’t make out what she’s saying. It’s hard, he thinks. 

Harder than he thought it would be. He can’t hear anything but the music and his mind is focused on Louise’s lips and they’re forming words but it’s all just a blur in Troye’s head, but he thinks he catches ‘Troye’ and ‘crush’ and ‘Connor’ and – no.

They’re all laughing and Troye’s taking his headphones off and he’s saying, “Troye has a crush on Connor. I hate you all. It’s not true. I don’t like Connor. Obviously.” He avoids looking at Connor. He’s too embarrassed right now and he can feel the redness of his face and he probably looks like a tomato. “Guys, why would you even think that? It’s ridiculous. I don’t know where you came up with that. You must have pulled it out of your ass because it’s a load of shit and –“

“Troye, calm down,” Joe says. He’s laughing but he also looks serious and his eyebrow is raised and Troye wants to know how he manages to do that. “The whisper wasn’t that. It was Troye crushed Connor at Fifa.”

Troye wants to slap the amusement off his face and out of his mouth. He also wants to slap the embarrassment off his own face.

He thought filming this video would be fun. It’s probably one of the worst decisions he’s ever made.

Connor is just sat there, silent, and Troye could probably cry right now. He wants there to be a massive hole to come and swallow him up, never to see anyone ever again.

He knows that Joe will edit it out – he’ll have to, for both his and Connor’s sakes – but he also knows that the other guys and Louise won’t forget what happened.

Louise announces that she needs to go touch up her makeup and that she wants Troye to help her, which is not fooling anyone. Troye is absolutely clueless about makeup. He knows she wants to talk to him about it and he knows he should probably say no, but honestly he just wants to get out of this room because the tension is suffocating; he feels like he’s going to choke on it.

He follows her out without saying a word and without looking back and he tries not to listen to hear if the others are saying anything now that he’s gone.

When they’re in one of the other bedrooms, Louise sits on the bed and pulls Troye to sit down next to her.

“Troye.” It’s all she needs to say, really. It gets the point across and Troye honestly just wants to run away, but that would make what he already made apparent 10 times more obvious. Fuck his life, seriously.

“I know what you’re thinking, Louise. It’s not true. I just get nervous when straight guys think I like them because it will make them uncomfortable around me and –"

Louise puts a hand on his shoulder, cutting him off. “You know you can tell me anything, right? I can keep a secret.” She pauses, considering. “Okay, maybe I can’t. But if you have something, anything, you want to tell me, I will not tell anyone. I promise.”

Troye smiles awkwardly, trying his best to make it look genuine. “I like –“ 

He cuts himself off. He isn’t close to Louise. It would be weird telling her. But maybe not being close would actually make it better. He wouldn’t have to constantly see her and he wouldn’t have to constantly see her pitying gaze.

He’s on the verge of finishing his sentence when the door opens.

 

\+ 1.

“Connor.” It’s such a weird statement to make, but Troye’s brain is not functioning properly, so he forgives himself.

“Troye.” Connor raises both of his eyebrows.

“Right, well – I’ll be off,” Louise says, looking and sounding awkward. If Connor weren’t staring at him, Troye would mouth ‘don’t go’ to her. He really hates Connor at the moment (why does Troye have to like him?).

Once Louise has left, Connor moves away from the doorway and sits on the edge of the bed, where Louise was sitting. They both face forward rather than each other and they sit in silence for a few minutes, neither of them daring to speak up.

The silence eventually breaks, though.

“I need to tell you something.”

Troye wonders for a second if it was him who had said it, before his brain catches up and he realises, no – Connor said it. It’s kind of weird, considering the situation they’re in. Troye thinks that he should be the one with something to tell.

“Okay,” Troye says, raising his eyebrow. Connor doesn’t see the movement, Troye notices as he peeks at him, because Connor is still staring ahead of him.

“So, I know you like me. I mean, I thought you did before because of Ricky’s videos and the texts, but now I’m surer because of what just happened.” Troye doesn’t have time to panic or deny anything because Connor doesn’t give him a chance to interrupt.

“Honestly, I did not like that you liked me. I wanted you to stop. It made me feel uncomfortable. But now I know that it was because I was scared. I was fucking scared. Of you. Of myself. Of everything. I did not want to acknowledge it.” He sighs. “I realise, now, Troye. I was an idiot. I liked you. I _like_ you. Present tense.” He’s twirling his thumbs together as he says it.

This is a lot for Troye to process. Connor likes _him_. Connor isn’t straight. Connor _likes_ him. Connor knew. _Connor likes him_. It’s like a mantra going around in his head and he doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know what to do, except he knows that it would maybe be okay if he kissed him now. Connor wouldn’t be repulsed, at least.

So he lifts Connor’s chin up and tilts his head to face Troye and he kisses him, right on the mouth. It’s soft and gentle and loving and short, but it’s one of the best kisses Troye has ever had. He doesn’t care that there was some awkwardness or that their teeth bumped a few times, because it’s Connor and it’s _him and Connor_ and he’s kissing him and Connor likes him and he’s glad he didn’t disappear in a hole – he’s glad that he fucked up so many times, just wishes he would have come clean earlier. Maybe they’d have been kissing a lot longer, if he had.

Troye loves his life right now.


End file.
